Setting Up a Family Chore Day to Build Essential Life Skills
Importance of Chores in Childhood
Chores have some clear advantages including make day-to-day life easier and teaching important life skills to children. Research has also demonstrated that doing chores during childhood may impact long-term outcomes such as getting and keeping a job and overall well-being. However, it is not easy to set up a chore system that works consistently and as children get older. Families are busy juggling competing demands and children often have homework and extracurricular activities that may take priority. Parents also note that it is often easier and less time consuming for them to do the household chores rather than teach and remind their children. It is easy to see why only about 25% of families in the United States require their children to do chores. What seems to be missing is a manageable, real-world method to help parents tackle all of the household chores that need to be done daily or weekly while also involving their children.
What is a Chore Day?
One thing that consistently works for our family is to devote about 1-2 hours on Sunday mornings to doing our chores together. In this way, it feels like a true team effort as we tag team some of our bigger chores (e.g., cleaning the bathrooms, mopping the floors, washing and changing sheets) and our smaller chores (e.g., wiping down kitchen cabinets, emptying trash cans, picking up dog poop, cleaning windows). Chore day also seems to build a shared mentality that while chores are often boring and can feel tedious, it is something that needs to be done and all family members need to pitch in together.
As a parent, I also see this investment of time on Sundays mornings as potentially having larger returns in the future as my kids build their daily living skills and see the value in working on a common goal with their family. Frankly, it also decreases the work that I need to do and it gives me a chance to teach other life skills as they come up (e.g., changing a lightbulb, refilling the toilet paper in the bathrooms, tightening a loose screw, etc.).
How to Set Up a Chore Day
Chore day is something we have been doing for several years, so I am not sure my kids even remember a Sunday without chores. That being said, there are some easy steps that can make this doable for families to set up.
- Set the expectations for chore day. In our family, I find myself saying often that we are all working together on our chores to keep the house clean and organized. We discuss what chores need to be done, who will do each chore, and when the chores will be completed (see below table that illustrates what chores each child does). No one gets out of chore day and if one of the kids is at a sleepover or has an activity – we talk about when they will “make up” their chores.
Chore Day In Our Family
| 7-year old | 9-year old | 11-year old |
| Cleans bedroom using a checklist | Cleans bedroom using a checklist | Cleans bedroom using a checklist |
| Cleans mudroom (wipes surfaces, vacuums, mops) | Cleans bathrooms (toilets and sinks) | Dusts, vacuums, and mops downstairs floors |
| Cleans front door windows | Wipes down baseboards | Wipes down kitchen cabinets |
| Collects trash from trashcans throughout the house | Refills toilet paper and changes hand towels in bathroom | Picks up dog poop in the yard |
- Make it a group effort. Designating a time when everyone is working on chores together builds a sense of camaraderie and also provides an opportunity to make it fun (e.g., play music, have a race to get everything done in one hour, chat with each other, allow for chore trading as long as the other person knows how to do it). Doing chores together also illustrates that this is an effort that the whole family takes part in.
- Keep it simple. Make chore day a set routine each week so that everyone knows what they need to do and when. It can be helpful to set an alarm as a reminder to get started on doing chores. Children may also benefit from having their chores written down so that they know what they are supposed to do.
- Set children up for success. There are some simple strategies that can be used again and again to make sure children learn and master the chores that they need to do. Some examples include:
- Use the model of Teach, Model, Practice, and Do It Independently when a child is learning how to do a new chore.
- Teach – verbally discuss and instruct on the steps for cleaning one’s bedroom
- Model – demonstrate how to complete each step of cleaning one’s bedroom with the child
- Practice – have the child practice the steps for cleaning their bedroom with feedback and support as needed
- Do it Independently – once the child has demonstrated that they can successfully clean their room, they can do the steps independently
- Make a list of all of the chores that need to be completed for each child that can be referred to each week.
- Use a checklist to indicate what steps need to be done for each chore. A checklist is an easy tool that can truly be used for just about every chore including cleaning one’s bedroom or cleaning the bathrooms. A checklist can be simple or detailed, and children can check off each step or chore after it is completed. If a child is not reading, pictures can be used.
- Provide continued instruction, modeling, and feedback as needed. It is helpful to be present during chore day, especially when children are doing a new chore, so that you can give praise, but also constructive feedback and support (e.g., how much water to use when mopping, making sure to clean both sides of the toilet seat, etc.).
- Use the model of Teach, Model, Practice, and Do It Independently when a child is learning how to do a new chore.
- Use it as an opportunity to teach and practice new skills. As children get older, they will be able to take on more complex chores. Chore day is an opportunity for parents or siblings to teach others how to do chores and give constructive feedback. In our family, transferring a chore to a younger sibling is an exciting milestone. For example, my oldest son recently transferred his chore of cleaning the bathrooms to his younger sister, and he then learned how to vacuum and mop the wood floors. Parents should also give feedback to children on how they are doing their chores to help them master skills and become more independent.
- Celebrate the completion of chore day! Chores are “work” and it may be helpful to provide a reward once they are completed. Possible ideas include doing a family activity together (e.g., board game), watching a television show together, baking cookies, or making a favorite lunch or dinner. Our children receive an allowance for doing daily and weekly chores that they receive after chore day, which is viewed as a sort of “pay day” for them.
More from the Blog
Creating an After School Rhythm
Identifying the steps in a teen’s after school rhythm can make the transition from school to home a lot easier and more peaceful for the entire family!
Read More
Tackling the Morning Rhythm with Your Teen
One great way to prepare for going back to school is to help your teen get more independent with their morning rhythm! This blog takes you through an example of how to do this with your teen.
Read More
30 Day Life Skills Challenge – COMPLETED!
Learn about how we finished the remaining life skills in our 30 Day Life Skills Challenge and how the whole family got in on the action!
Read More