I HATE Chore Day!
In our family, we spend about 1-2 hours doing our big chores as a family on Sunday mornings. This means that most of us are doing our chores at the same time with the goal of getting them completely finished between breakfast and lunch. My oldest son is currently in charge cleaning all of the toilets in the house and also cleans the sink and bathtub in the kids’ bathroom. He also vacuums the basement every other week. of swiffering, vacuuming, and mopping the floors on the first floor. My daughter cleans the mudroom by mopping and vacuuming it, and she also cleans the windows and empties the trash cans throughout the house. My youngest son dusts, vacuums, and mops the floors on the first floor. Each week, everyone also needs to straighten up their room (e.g., pick up toys, put laundry in the hamper, gather library books to be returned, etc.). After chores are completed, each child earns money that is deposited into their bank account that they can use for spending money (e.g., buying candy for a sleepover, purchasing a Lego set, getting a book at the bookstore).
Yesterday my youngest said “I hate chore day and I hate Sundays because of chores!” As an adult, I had to control my own personal reaction because I happen to completely agree that chores are not my favorite thing either and I would gladly surrender my least favorite chore of doing the never ending cycle of laundry. However, I also know that chores instill a good work ethic and that there are many “rewards” that come with completing chores on Sunday for our family.
My son and I took a quick break from our chores to chat about chore day. I started off by agreeing with him that chores are definitely not always fun and are usually things we “have to do” and not necessarily things we “want to do.” I then reminded him that our chores are only meant to take about an hour on Sunday, and that there are things we can do to make them fun or at least less awful. We chatted about how he could have a race against himself each week to see if he could beat his own time of mopping the floor. He could also listen to music or an audiobook while he cleaned the floors. He could also think about what fun things he was going to do after he finished chores (e.g., watch a football game with Dad, play basketball with his brother, make paper airplanes). We also talked about how his older brother once dressed up in a suit to do his chores because he thought it was funny and also knew it would make others laugh! Taking this quick break to commiserate and problem seemed to get him out of his funk and to view Sunday chores as just a small part of the day, rather than something that has the potential to run his entire day.
I also pointed out that our family is really working together on Sundays to do our big chores at the same time as we clean the entire house. This is a time where we get to hang out and often joke around or sing along to songs together. He is also learning valuable lessons about what he needs to do as he gets older and for when he one day moves into his own house.
Lastly, we talked about how he earns an allowance for doing his daily chores and his big Sunday chores. The concept of money still seems to be a little abstract for him, but he definitely loves the freedom to buy things when we are at the store or at an event. He has also started saving up his money for items and likes seeing how the balance in his bank account grows each week. I gave him specific examples of the things he has been able to buy over the last few months, which were things that he had really wanted but that I was not necessary willing to buy for him at the moment.
I think my son felt heard as we talked through his feelings about chore day. While chores are something he has to do and is not going to get out of by complaining, his feelings and thoughts are valid and I want him to freely express them. There are so many things in life that he will have to do that are not necessarily fun or interesting or entertaining, and it is important for him to be able to identify the positive aspects that may help change his perspective.
More from the Blog
Creating an After School Rhythm
Identifying the steps in a teen’s after school rhythm can make the transition from school to home a lot easier and more peaceful for the entire family!
Read More
Tackling the Morning Rhythm with Your Teen
One great way to prepare for going back to school is to help your teen get more independent with their morning rhythm! This blog takes you through an example of how to do this with your teen.
Read More
How to Talk to and Education Your Children About Money
Listen to a recent Good Inside podcast episode for some tips about how to talk to your children about money (including allowance!). We have also included some books that may be helpful to build your teen’s skills in saving, spending, and budgeting!
Read More